1.03.2014

These hands

I look down at my hands and feel out of place. They aren't big or ugly, they're just uncomfortable in this unfamiliar setting. My hands, confident at work, are strong. I know, I have seen them guide errant clay to center. They are sensitive too. It is hard to describe what a wall of a pot feels like when it is too thin and about to collapse, or thick and holding extra weight, but my hands know. Put a pen in them and images appear in the margins of my notes, faces staring, forms lining the edges. Give them something to hold and they will hold it. Give them something to clean, they'll clean it. They will hold a child's hand, brush a sister's hair, knead and shape dough into loaves of bread. But if you lay them, idle, next to a dress of satin and put a thin silver bracelet around my wrist they feel uncomfortable and useless. Take off the apron and work boots and they feel too large and awkward. The hands that are so capable in one setting fidget, unsure in this setting, just waiting to be released from the fine trappings and games of elegance. All they want is to be let go to wash a dish or something. But something, please!

3 comments:

  1. That is a confidence issue that is a challenge. Your hands are skilled at what you (and I) value - work, creative acts, serving, nurturing. I have thought about this many times because the shallowness and transience of external beauty lead us to conclude that there is zero value in it. We see so much insincerity ranging from glitz to outright phony deception and we are repulsed by it. But there is a narrow line between aesthetics and vanity which for myself can sometimes be blurred. Paris is littered with aesthetics produced by the epitome of vanity. As image bearers we must drive ourselves to God's intentions for true beauty and relish the both the present and coming experiences of that beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did not complete my thought.....
    When we can wholly endorse a specific arrangement of elegance, then we can be confident and, in time, comfortable with it.

    ReplyDelete