To Walk Blind

It is dark

So dark.

Where am I?

I had been walking

walking on a path

that was lit by the lantern I hold in my hand

but now the light is dim

it barely stands up against the darkness

a darkness that is thicker now, somehow

then it was only a moment ago

heavier, somehow, than it was before

oppressive, threatening

and terrifying.

Dark.

the weak light of my lantern only illuminates a small area

a circle about my feet. 

my motionless feet.

I can't step

I won't step

my next step will be beyond the light

beyond the known

beyond my sight.

I'm scared of this dark.

Only a moment ago my way had been clear

a good path had stretched before me

well lit by the light

I walked in confidence

happy.

I had the order that I love

I knew what lay before me

it was clear

I like that.

But that is gone now

everything is gone

all that is left is the unknown

the pale light

and my still feet.

Desperate, terrified, paralyzed

I call out

can He even hear me here?

why?

why would You take my light?

I walked on Your path

how can I follow it

how can I go where You call me

when I can't see the way?

Trust Me.

I hear the Voice

it is gentle and fatherly

it penetrates the darkness

Trust Me.

Yes you followed My path

but you walked in your own  strength

you needed no help

you needed no Faith.

It is only when you walk blind

when you walk in faith

that your Faith can grow.

Trust me.

I love you daughter

This is a test

a trial to strengthen

a fire to refine

your faith

worth more than gold

Your faith.

continue

on the path

you saw that it was good

it is still there

it is still Mine

Trust Me.

All is still

the Voice is gone

darkness presses in

fear

my old enemy

Fear whispers

binding, freezing

paralyzing.

what if I stray from the way

and get lost?

what if I slip

what if I fall?

The Voice is gone

but I am not alone

there is a Presence

in the dark

Remember.

I remember

George Muller

and the path he walked

thanking God each day 

for a meal 

that he didn't have.

God was faithful.

I remember the woman and her jars of oil

I remember Israel and the Manna from heaven

I remember Jesus and the bread

and the fish that fed the 5,000

I remember the disciples

in the boat

I remember the great storm that came

and threatened

I remember their fear

and I remember Him

and the words he spoke

the rebuke

they didn't trust

He had the power

He calmed the storm

I remember a song

My voice sounds weak in my own ears

but I sing

You are my hiding place

You always fill my heart 

with songs of deliverance

whenever I am afraid

I will trust in You.

A shiver runs over me as I look around

trying, so hard

to penetrate the darkness

I will trust in You.

I look down at the small circle about my feet 

lit by my weak lantern

I will trust in You.

I breath deep

holding my lantern aloft

I step.

One step

into the unknown

into the black

it is so dark

I will trust in You.